Would you stop for a second?

I went out with her a few nights ago. It was just a dinner meet up, but I was using it as an opportunity to see if there was something more. It turns out the only thing we've really got in common is that we attend the same school. Different career paths, different people. I walked out thinking that this was a person who was definitely looking to be other places, but couldn't slow down long enough to spend some meaningful time. To be honest, I've met people like this, and I have a good friend who is like this as well. Part of me really hoped it was going to have something more, but it didn't, and that's all right. Well, it has to be, or the cops come knocking at the door. I would like to avoid that in the near future.

I've been bummed out for a few days. Some of it has not been all bad. I've been trying to think of how I feel, and it's something like this: I am disappointed, but also inspired. I realized that I focused a ton on something I didn't have much of a chance of getting and I neglected things I wanted to do. So, today I booked two plane flights and a hotel: one for a test I'm going to take for a job (with the hotel) and another to see my grandparents. These two trips take place on back-to-back weekends and I'm excited about both as escapes from the mundane of school. I'm going to see some old friends and see some places I've not seen in a long while. I'm really looking forward to that.

My initial response to this whole thing was "no one stands still long enough to talk to me, so you know what, I'm done with people and I give up." After thinking about it for a while, I realized that's a dumb statement. Yes, a lot of my friends in grad school have other lives going on concurrently and don't have a lot of time to hang out with me. But I've started noticing the people who do make time. I've got this good friend who lives in L.A. I have talked to her in spurts since I met her two years ago, but I've realized that she is the one person who knows me at my deepest core. I love her to death like a sister. She's stood by me at times when I couldn't even stand by myself. We've celebrated milestones in each others' lives and we've held each other up when the stuff's hit the fan. It's when I thought about her, and I've thought about the other friends I've got, that I've realized it's not always about the quantity of friends. I am not going to go on facebook and rack up 500 friends like a lot of people I know. But if there is one thing I know, it's about the quality of the people who you are true friends with. A good friend can be the difference between a good day and a bad day. They are the ones who will stop for a second.

It's after I thought about my friends I realized that even though I've been sick, coughing, physically hurting from coughing, mentally cramped up and wishing life would continue on, I'm not sure I'd change a lot in my life right now. Sure, there's always things we want to improve on. There are some tough pills to swallow. But I know there's things about me that always carry me through. And I'll do just that. I won't slow down. I'll make my own path, because that's my way, and I'll go with courage and faith, because as the late John Challis said, courage + believe= life.

How do you measure your life?

I woke up this morning and immediately thought about this question. My friend and I brought up the musical Rent last night, which is my favorite musical of all time. He hates all musicals, but I love a few select ones since I used to do theatre stuff.

Since it's the end of the year, it's time to take stock of where we were last year, where we are now, and how we can make ourselves better in the future. One of my favorite songs out of the musical, "Seasons of Love", asks the question "how do you measure a year?" They offer some suggestions, too: "In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee? In inches, in miles of laughter and strife?" I think the last one, in particular has the most meaning in it.

I've had quite a bit of strife over the past year. Family fights, fights with friends, a beloved pet moving on, conflicts of self, conflicts over my living situation, conflicts at work, and illness. The conflicts with self at times can be so overwhelming, they can stop me dead in my tracks.

But at the same time, there's been a ton of laughter to go along with it. For my entire undergraduate career, I was a very lonely person. Since I've come to graduate school, I've been a significantly less lonely person, communicating more with different people, going out more, and beginning to experience things I've never done. Some of the best memories I have are during the last year. Drinking out late with friends, watching some hockey, holding out a hand to someone in need, there's some things that brought the world's largest smile to my face and made me feel good, even if there were other things around me trying to do otherwise.

To me, these two things all ask one question together: how much of a person have you grown in one year? Well, I think I've grown quite a bit, even if at times it feels like I have a long way to go. The one thing I've worked hard on is developing a greater personal life, specifically a relationship. It wasn't long ago I was living in the midst of some actions others lay upon me that really hurt me and took away any confidence I had. I've worked very hard to work up the courage to ask a couple of people out. The first one I never asked out because I found out she had a boyfriend. The second one I asked out in a flurry of desperation and didn't realize she was engaged. The third person I've liked I am meeting in the next few days. I liked her from when I met her at school, but I couldn't do much at the time. I kept hoping to see her some time out of school at a social event, but she never came. Since that didn't work, I pulled the trigger myself.

I've realized how terrified I am of the whole thing. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what the other person is thinking. Fear of getting completely schlacked by someone else and stepping back. Those are some pretty tough things for me to deal with. However, I've realized one thing: I'm done being afraid. I've already taken some steps I probably wouldn't have one year ago. It's not easy to accept items we have no direct control over, but I'm learning to give up the need to control every little detail. I don't know how that will play out, but I can't keep worrying about things like I do.

If there's one thing I do control, it's myself. I will find a way to overcome my own fear. I know she doesn't have to be the end-all, be-all (although I'd love it if she was). It's more the act of moving past something I don't want to be anymore. And with that, I know no amount of fear can stop me. Everyone is scared of something. It's just a matter of what you do with your fear that makes the difference between success and failure.

So, back to the initial question: how do I measure my life? I would say I measure my life in strides to make myself a better person and improving the lives of the people around me. I don't say it with any ego, but I think I can say I measure pretty well in both of those aspects. In another year, I'd say that the sky is going to be the limit. Oh, and before I forget, here's the song I mentioned earlier. This version is from the motion picture version of Rent:

Defying Ordinary

Defy Ordinary. It's the slogan this year of my Pittsburgh Penguins. Since I get NHL Gamecenter, I do watch the Penguins a lot on FSN Pittsburgh. One of the ad campaigns they do on there is with certain players stating how they define ordinary. Usually what follows is a highlight reel of the things they do. I was at school reading ESPN.com's NHL page when I came across this article by Scott Burnside about former St. Louis Blues GM Larry Bleau: It's an amazing story about Wendy Bleau, his wife's struggle with cancer. During this time, Larry leaned on his employer, and the players, fans, staff grabbed his hand and his wife's hand and pulled them back up on their feet. She went from being stuck in a hospital bed and unable to move to living a somewhat normal life. And if you read the article, you will truly be touched.

But it got me thinking about my life and reminded me of a similar incident. In May, a good friend of mine had shoulder surgery a few weeks before. It was during the time I was heavily invested in the Penguins and the playoffs, and he was constantly sending facebook comments and asking me about the Penguins. Towards the end of the conference finals and in to the Stanley Cup Finals, I was hoping to go over to his place and enjoy something I like and that he was asking about. Give him something else to do besides think about his shoulder. He'd been bed-ridden for a while and was stuck in his house with limited movement. I was glad that during the Cup Finals for Game 3, I got to go over to his place with a friend of mine. I remember when we got to the door, his face lit up like he'd just won a million bucks. We brought some pizza with us, which was perfect because he could eat it with one hand. It was obvious he'd been stuck home alone a long time, even with his girlfriend and other friends helping him. I was personally glad that I got to spend time with him watching something I love. I am not sure if he cared a lot about the game, but to be honest, I don't think it mattered that much. I think that as a human being, it was one of my defining moments, and here's why.

We, as people, are very self-absorbed. If you want evidence, go to a public place. A mall, a restaurant, a public park, anywhere. You'll notice one thing- everyone's got their head down, pushing on, and so often people look as if they are just hurrying along to the next place. You stop and wonder sometimes- does anyone stop and smile, maybe look around and enjoy life a bit? Yeah, I know what it's like to be in a hurry. I was the last few weeks working on my thesis. But it never hurts to look up and smile and say "hi" or say "thanks." If you are at work and you have people over or under you, say something nice. Tell someone they are doing a good job. Defy ordinary. It doesn't take much to turn someone's day around.

I've made it my new purpose to defy ordinary this way at least once. Today I went ice skating and I saw an old woman who was heading off that I didn't know and said hi. It was amazing to see her light up.It's those little things we should try and bring out in the others around us. So, I implore you as I hope to. You don't have to change the world or reinvent the wheel or blaze a new path. Just do something simple. Just defy ordinary.

To Question With Boldness... or Die

I've been away from blogging a long while. School tends to knock you down several pegs and take away your motivation to write anything when you have two massive papers to write. But some things have prompted me to write an entry. A lot of it is centered about things people have told me, a lot of them I found negative, even if done in a joking or helpful tone. And some of it is just plain strange.

I learned one thing in spending over a year in the grad school program I attend: I am a very rare person. I don't think like any of my peers or my professors. In fact, I have found absolutely no one who thinks like I do. And I'm not sure why. Most of the people in my school lean left. They all tend to favor a couple of things: political correctness, conformity, and a nice stepping in line. When I wasn't impressed with President Obama's inauguration, I was told "this is history!" during a viewing event inside of my school. I said, "yeah, I suppose it is, but this is just a ceremony. The real history is to be made down the road." There is something impressive about being the first African-American president ever. I'm not taking that away from him. However, I think that the stimulus package, the health care reform plan, the bailouts, the wars, are infinitely more important issues than some symbolic milestone, don't you?

But there's a constant pressure in society to conform, even though we say the opposite. In class one day about two months ago, we examined a student's paper. During that class, most people gave negative comments. I wanted to say something positive, and I said a comment akin to "I know this paper's bad, but I liked the way he knows his topic very well." One of my friends (who's probably reading this right now and knows who he is) promptly after class told me I have no filter. At first I was like, "yeah, okay, whatever" but it started eating at me. I don't tend to take insults very well because as a kid, I was heavily made fun of. I still struggle with it at times, even when it's completely in a joking manner. A few weeks later when we were hanging out, he brought it up again. I was having a good time and relaxing up until that point, but when he said it, it flipped a switch. I stopped having fun. I didn't want to be there. I found it almost frustrating someone would say something I took offense to. I guess I can be placed at fault for not saying anything about it, but I did vow if he brought it up again (he'd only said it twice) that I would put a stop to it. He never did, but I use this example to make a point: it's all about staying within the lines in our society. There's no way you can step outside of them, or whether jokingly or not, someone will take a shot at you.

But it doesn't stop with just staying in line. It's also about never questioning. I have changed jobs and I work for a state agency now. I was assigned a project and during the initial project meeting, we were told the project we were working on was to look up business addresses for a project that originally an entirely different agency had jurisdiction on. When they asked for questions, no one asked anything about how or why we are working on this. So, I put up my hand and asked why the other agency didn't have what we were about to work on. One of the staffers in the room chuckled and another provided a very politically correct response. I walked back somewhat amused at the time, now mortified.

I had the same feeling when I was in a class and was being lectured to by a member of a federal agency that will go unnamed. During this class, he was telling us the agency's strategy regarding a specific issue. I proceeded to call him out on what I thought was a major whole in his strategy... and got more wishy washy B.S. Since I was not in a public policy class and was in another department, I wasn't going to press the policy problem and just listened to the rest. But it was one of those moments where logic breaks down, and when questioned, the speaker stepped back. To be clear,

In one final example, I challenged my school on a speaker who is coming to my graduate program to talk to students about career opportunities in national intelligence. They set an informal dinner with him in which the student paid his own food expense. Fine on the expenses, but one major problem: they set it during the second year students' class time at 6 PM (class starts at 5:30). I challenged this and was told by both my student government president and the second in command at my program that "he graciously offered this time and we aren't changing it." Well, if the situation was explained to him, and he is as gracious as they say, wouldn't it be worth considering moving it a few hours back to make more students, particularly the ones about to graduate in six months, available to him? I don't know why, but no one agreed with me. I doubt anyone's going to, to be honest. I will say as a counterpoint, he may be leaving to go somewhere else. The man coming is a retired vice admiral and is likely moving on tonight or tomorrow. But even if the school provided that as justification, that would've been better than the "he just donated this time" statement.

I lied when I said that was the last one. This final one really, really gets to me. I currently serve my local community and my student population by serving on a city government commission that meets in the evenings. I consider this a very important position, one I do with great pride and I think I've helped change a lot of minds about certain issues. However, my school places classes during my meetings, forcing me into a conundrum: do I serve, or do I go to class? These meetings are once a month, but very important. Tonight, we have an issue on the table I consider highly important and the effects of my absence could hurt the local area. To which am I more appropriately bound: my service, or my class? Saying I go to a school that is dedicated to service, I find the fact that they will not accommidate my service hypocritical. Some would argue I haven't placed any options on the table, so they have nothing to work with. I asked the school if there's something we could come up with. I got an answer of "we aren't moving the classes, I see no other option, and I'm sorry that's not the answer you are looking for." All I know is they will either respect my service, or they will soon be listening to it from someone higher up. My school's motto is "inspiring citizenship, developing leadership." I'll leave you to insert some witty remark here.

Maybe I'm crazy for thinking everyone just wants you to step in line and shut up. Maybe this is all a paradigm I've made so that I've got something to always fight against. I don't believe it is, though. I'm refusing to sit down and simply be counted. It's way too easy to do that. It's much harder to speak what's on your mind. It's even harder to act against the current. But I will do both. I don't plan to retreat. Glenn Beck has a saying, which is "question with boldness." I am going to do just that. I'd rather be dead than forcibly stand in line.

And if you think I've taken this too far, or that I'm fighting a losing war, then fine. You think that. Have fun. Meanwhile, I'm going to make this world better than the way it was when I was born. You can either stand up and follow me, or you can stay in line. Your call.

Work strikes again!

Two strange work events in two days! I got another one to share with you, from the mouth of your writer, John Henry Eden, straight to your heart.

While at work today, someone came in to sound the note for a staff meeting to happen immediately. So, two employees went around to the two different areas of our office, telling everyone to report to this staff meeting for everyone. After we are all gathered, the big kahuna (not the guy from yesterday, someone bigger) informs us that after someone purchased a cake for a departing employee, several knives were found placed in each of the men's and women's restrooms on each side of the office (total of four knives placed). As a result of this incident, the police were called in and presented their suggestions. In addition, they announced a policy to everyone that there will no longer be knives placed in the kitchen area of the office.

Now, a couple of things. First, what the heck? Someone really thought it'd be cool to take some knives and place them in the restrooms? What kind of prank is that? (Note: it was NOT me. I don't like my job, but I'm not that disgruntled).

Second, why are the police called in here? No one was harmed. Nothing bad happened. It's strange, to be sure, but the police are being called in here? Come on.

Third, we're going to ban knives? Are we all suddenly five, completely incapable of handling sharp objects lest we get stabbed through the cheeks and are forced to suck food through a straw for weeks? Until someone gets assaulted, consider it a prank.

Goes to show you, people these days are too reactive, too politically correct, and too afraid to just say what needs said. And as my blog I hope demonstrates, I am a victim of this environment.

Work sucks

So, I haven't written for a while, but I figure I'd write about an experience I had at work today. Now, to protect the parties involved, I will never reveal the following information on here:

1. Where I work (it's a state government entity, but that is as specific as I will get.)
2. The names of anyone involved (positions, somewhat.)
3. What I do (I will speak in generalities.)

The reasons to protect are so that this won't publicly ridicule anyone. This will not stop someone who works there and knows the intimate details from understanding exactly what is going on, but it will not let someone from the outside know. Way too much disclaiming? Sure, but I got to protect, right?

So, I was at work today, and what I do at work is scan files into a database. That's all I do. I take directions on how to scan files, and I operate in the way my boss asks me to.

About eight weeks ago, he asked me to scan in two new sets of files before I scanned in older ones, since they are likely to use the newer ones first. After a couple weeks and a meeting with him regarding this work, he stated that I was doing extra, unnecessary work by scanning both and wanted just one set in. So, naturally, I complied and I finished this part of the task and continued on.

Fast forward to today. I was working on another database maintenance task, my boss approaches my desk and wants to show me something. With the database not working right (typical), I could not view what he wanted so I just asked him to explain what he wanted. He asked me if I had scanned in the paper type he was holding. I had not, as from what he told me when we were talking last time, I was giving myself too much work. So, I just made sure one copy was in there, as was his instruction. Or so I thought.

After telling him this, he gives me this dumfounded look, then stating that "we obviously have our signals crossed." I then told him I'd look at what needed done and I'd give him an assessment on how long it would take. After that, he returned to whatever he does while working (my functions are disconnected from the rest of the department he runs).

What I gave you is basically what happened. There was no recollection by him of what he told me. None. All we had was what I remembered. I think that if you want to lead a department, you want to have people under you, you need to remember what you are instructing people. This comes from a guy who seems intent to not communicate at all and when communication is required, he seems dumbfounded that there are mistakes. Since I do not feel a need to take initiative or can have my initiative awarded (last time I tried, I was met with a chastising rebuke), I just let it all go.

Piece of advice: don't get stuck in a job you don't like. Have a way out. I had a couple of chances, and I failed to convert my opportunities. With one coming up in a few weeks, I know this chance has a lot riding on it, particularly my long-term happiness.

Why I think Iran's goings-on is changing everything.

Note: If you're looking for information on the woman, it's simple: she responded and she's in a relationship, and I'm going to refrain from any more of these types of postings. As my friend said, one of us blogging about this subject is enough, yes?

So, Iran has been a hotbed of turmoil over the last 24 hours. The Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Khameni, decided it was a good idea to declare that if anyone protested today, they would be forcibly stopped and arrested. There have been reports of just about everything going on- water cannons, tear gas, beatings, fires, bullets, and even reports of acid dropped from helicopters used on the crowds in an effort to shut them down. All of this has been going on, and we'd never know if it wasn't for web 2.0. Did anyone ever expect that it would completely undermine a regime like it has?

The main two vehicles for the spread of news has been twitter and youtube. The protesters post videos showing the violence against them on youtube. They then use twitter to point people to the protests. Western journalists have been banned from entering Iran, so standard mainstream media techniques can't be used. Almost all footage of these events (and if you go looking, some of it is really bloody) has been uploaded via cell phone cameras and home video cameras, giving us eyes on this situation. I've been stunned all day knowing that web 2.0 has actually trumped both the Iranian government and the mainstream Western media (I'm including everybody here, because I'm sure the BBC, Sky News, and other european news entities have also been blocked). Update: there was a BBC correspondent there, but he's been expelled.

If something major happens, this will be the defining moment for web 2.0. Most of us view it as an addictive waste of time as we view each other's profiles, watch what everyone else is doing, setting up dates and events, and making random comments about other stuff. The way it is being used in Iran could change everything. It creates a blueprint that if accessed by other countries, could revolutionize revolutions, as strange as that sounds. This would work wonders in places people never see, like some of the internal strife in China (even though it's open, it's highly censored) or in North Korea. I would love to see this taken to North Korea, a country known as an information black hole. I have to applaud Twitter for delaying on a server upgrade to help people spread the word in Iran. That takes a lot of guts adn a lot of foresight, and they deserve a huge hand for that. We can only hope now that real change happens, and that the true nature of Iranian human rights abuses forces the world to act in a way it never has before.

This isn't dead!

In the famous words of Arnold, "I'm back!" Well, not truly gone, but school and finals tends to mean I don't type much. Well, now that we're done for a little while, let's write on some random subjects.

Do you know that feeling of futility? You know, the one where you have several things going on and all you want to do is to fix them, but nothing seems to work? I have been having two of those bouts with futility, where it feels like even your best efforts end in failures.

I've had an imperfection in the way I walk that's existed for about four years, which is the earliest I can remember. Since then, I've had somewhat chronic back trouble, but it always gets alleviated after some chiropractor visits. When my knee started acting up about eight months ago, I figured I'd sprained it again, since I had sprained my knee about two months prior. Now, I have more pain than just my knee. It turns out my knee, my it band, and my back are all part of an interconnected puzzle that is very problematic. I've been dealing with it so long, it feels as if I can never get better. I'm hoping that since my doctor and my physical therapist believe they've localized the problem, I can maybe get back on my feet soon and to one hundred percent. When it's been so long, you just feel like you can't get better. It's hard to get positive and work hard because you think it will all be for naught. I'm determined to not end a self-fulfilling prophecy, though.

Then there's the girl I've had an on and off interest going during this year. The first time I had a good conversation with her, I thought she was interesting, but I wasn't that enthralled. Slowly over the course of the year, I started feeling more and more attracted towards her. Since I interacted with her semi-regularly at school, she and I became one step past acquiantences, but that's as far as it went. I always looked for an opportunity to open things up higher. Of course, waiting for your chances, as I've learned, is a futile strategy. With too little time left, I tried to turn up the heat, and I think she responded somewhat positively to it. Last Saturday, as I attended the pre-commencement to wish some friends well in their endeavors, she was one of the graduates. I talked to her briefly as she spotted me and I talked to her parents and wished her well. After that conversation, I went home and recoiled at a lost opportunity. While talking to a friend about it, he told me to go after it now. In a final act of desperation, I sent an e-mail asking her if she'd like to go out sometime. I'm pretty sure it will either go unanswered, as it's been almost 48 hours now. I suppose there's always hope, but I just can't seem to find the hope in this situation.

So, onward I go. I'm trying my best to get better. My physical therapist tonight is trying soft-tissue treatments instead of full exercise treatments because they did not solve the problem. My only hope is that these are successful enough to eradicate most of my troubles. Since this is only my second treatment, I have noticed some improvement, but whether it can be sustained is another question. As for her, well... we'll just have to wait and see, but I'm not keeping my hopes up. And if you may possibly know her and wondering why I didn't give her name... I didn't.

But even through all this, I've only got four words left in my vocabulary: no retreat, no surrender. I will get better, I will grow, I will be stronger. Mark my words.

It's game two tonight!

If you are true Penguins fan, then you know that all is not lost after a game one performance that was average, but not great. Here are thirteen things the Pens need to do to win tonight in Detroit:

1. No more lazy plays. Way too many last night. Scuderi and Gill had a pair that allowed the first goal. Too many lazy passes were just snatched and driven hard the other way by Detroit.

2. Bury your chances. Malkin, Letang, and Satan all had quality chances. Pens are up 2-1 there, who knows? Well, we won't know. Don't let that happen tonight.

3. Win them faceoffs. Pens really need to win some of the draws, especially when you lose them almost 2-1 in Game 1.

4. Dump the puck in. They pretty much put 4-5 at the blue line. Can't keep trying that.

5. Power play. Had some chances, but only two shots and failed to establish the second one. See #4 for solution.

6. Play a sixty-minute game. They didn't Saturday, and that was apparent.

7. "Lively" boards cannot be utilized. Stop the point shots, solve part of that problem.

8. Fleury has to look like he did in Carolina for game 4. That performance yesterday was inadequate at best.

9. Crosby and Hank. Sid's got to solve Zetterberg sooner rather than later. His linemates are going to play hard. I think Sid is going to will his team on like he did in game 2 in Washington. Even though they lost that game, didn't Sid put on a show?

10. Bill Geurin. He played some of the worst I've seen him play. I don't know why, either. Lazy passes. Not driving hard enough. You're 39, and this could be it for you! DRIVE, DAMN IT!

11. Don't worry about Geno. He showed up yesterday, and he's ready to win some games. Easily the best player out there last night for the Pens. He's got to be better out there.

12. Kronwall wants your head. He took Ruutu's and Malone's last year. He wanted Geno's last night. I'm not sure that that rule doesn't need changed so you can't leave your feet, or that he's not breaking a rule by charging, but everybedy better keep their heads on a swivel because he wants a piece of somebody. Last night, he got the glass. Something tells me, though, we haven't seem the last of him.

13. Good things happen when you go to the net. We need to get a little more activity in the center of the ice. Letang had a beautiful chance there. The Wings are playing a surround style. They put 2-3 guys around the puck carrier. However, that leaves someone open, usually along the point. Gonchar and Letang must make them pay for those shifts.

That's all. Let's Go Pens!

Twenty Things about the Penguins

Sorry I've been so quiet. That whole life thing hit (as unacceptable as some think that is). With that, let's do it!

1. There's a reason they're called the two-headed monster. Crosby and Malkin are absolutely dominating on the ice. Their linemates are benefitting as well.

2. Last season, the Pens's success in the conference finals was because of Crosby and Hossa. Geno's line struggled mightily and became ineffective towards the end of the eastern conference finals and into the next round. Crosby and Hossa carried that series into six games.

3. This season, it's a different tale. Malkin is still producing at a torrid pace. He's got five goals in two games. Fedotenko has one, and Talbot's had so many chances that have bounced away, but he's not going to keep missing. Crosby, Kunitz, and Guerin are also a more complete line, even though Hossa is an all-world winger.

4. Cam Ward's playing his heart out. His defense needs to help him.

5. The J. Staal line was one of the most effective forechecking lines during the Philly series. It's been getting more of a defensive role and not getting much offense. That must change in order to advance to the finals and win the Cup. Staal's got to do some better shooting and start burying those chances.

6. Hal Gill is really slow-footed. So bad, if he gets caught pinching in against a fast opponent, it's likely a goal on a 2v1. This is noticable when watching Scuderi.

7. Given Gill's failures, they are still a shutdown pair. E. Staal is still goal-less. That's a good thing.

8. Fleury's been sharp, but I still think he's been outplayed by Cam Ward.

9. Chris Kunitz finally got a goal, but he's been really contributing with the assists. I'd like more balance on the attack, but I'll take the wins over balance anyday.

10. Miro Satan fought. Wow.

11. Kris Letang is showing why he will be a feared defenseman like Nick Lidstrom or Mike Green in the next few years. Wow, that guy can shoot.

12. Mark Eaton, a defenseman many people think is not worth his money, is proving he is this postseason. Great defensive play so far.

13. Who is better: Sid or Geno? My brother says Sid because he's got the skills. I say Geno because he can go through anyone and can do anything you ask of him. You decide.

14. Sidney Crosby playoff beard watch: currently just okay/ meh. Definitely a step up on Jonathan Toews, though.

15. Best beard on the team: Bill Guerin. Some grey in there, which is always a plus, but it's very thick and full.

16. Loving Craig Adams right now. What a solid 4-th line pick up.

17. I'm liking the seven-defensemen, 11-forwards strategy Disco Dan's rolling with. Crosby and Malkin are both playing really well and carrying this team. Double-shifting them is a great idea, particularly with the rest they get in between games (2 days between 1-2, 3-4).

18. Sergei Gonchar's looking better every game. The rest is definitely helping. I'm hoping, though, to get back to six D-men soon.

19. That said, he's still looking slow-footed and struggling at times. I'm hoping he won't be a liability next round.

20. Power play has scored in seven straight games. Doing really solid right now in that department.

And there you go. A bit rushed, but all good. More coming soon.

Eleven points about the upcoming Pens/Canes series

In honor of our Staal, let's break down this conference final with the eleven points about this series.

11. Cowher power- Bill Cowher, native of Pittsburgh and former Steelers head coach, has morphed from jutted-jaw coach to local Carolina celebrity. He even sounded the hurricane warning in game six. Does this officially mark him as a traitor to the black and gold, or will he change allegiances to where they properly belong?


10. These guys named Staal- In case you've been living under a rock/ fallout shelter, there's two Staal brothers- Eric and Jordan playing for Carolina and Pittsburgh, respectively. Did I mention their brothers?

9. Miroslav Satan- He's got some big assists and is playing smart hockey for a 4th line guy. Had a few big shots, particularly one against Varlamov in game seven- that he's been robbed on. He's even getting some time with Malkin. He could be a difference maker, particularly with Sykora scratched.

8. Erik Cole- He was a big piece of the Canes's 2006 Cup run. Expect him to play a big part again. Been quiet and doesn't have a goal yet. Look for him to try and change that.

7. Scott Walker- You know, the guy who punched Aaron Ward in the face and one-hit KOed him. Likely a sucker punch, but it was one hell of a right hand. He also scored the winning goal in game 7 in OT. Also, his wife has cervical cancer. I wish his wife the best, and you can bet it's going to motivate this guy to get more goals like that.

6. Cardiac Canes- They sure love their dramatic finishes. Scoring twice in the last 100 seconds of game 7 against NJ. Winning in OT game 7 against Boston. These guys can't be counted out ever.


5. That other Ward- His first name ain't Hines, and he'll be in Pittsburgh. At just 23, he's already got a Conn Smythe Trophy from the 2006 Carolina cup run. He's never lost a playoff series (6-0) and he's rocking solid numbers again (2.22 GAA, .927 sv%). He's carrying this team on his back.


4. The other goalie- Fleury didn't have a dominating performance against Washington (current numbers: 2.72 GAA and .901 sv%). Some of that can be attributed to Washington's ridiculous offensive players such as Ovechkin, Federov, and Backstrom (the rest didn't show up). Even then, there were some seriously soft goals let in. The Cardiac Canes will feast if they get such chances.

3. Special teams- Pens have a decently clicking power play right now. It had at least one goal in each of the four victories against the Capitals, including that nifty skate-to-stick move by Crosby in game 7 for the first goal. Carolina's got the best PK of any team remaining and also has the worst power play, converting at an anemic 10.7%. Pens will need to solve that PK in order to win this series. With Gonchar, Letang, Sid and Geno out there, shouldn't be a problem.

2. Secondary scoring. I was going to make this topic specifically about the blue line, but let's include everybody. Big contributors helped the Pens win. Bill Guerin (5), Mark Eaton (leads D-men with 4 goal? huh?), Ruslan Fedotenko (4) Kris Letang (3), Gonchar (2). Chris Kunitz currently has zero goals. He's had his chances. Look for him to get a break in this series.



1. Sid and Geno. Of course they are #1. Sid has been the dominating player we know he is, #1 in points (21) and goals (12) in the playoffs. Malkin has had a very quiet but productive post-season and is #2 in scoring. After having a rough start and three points in four games to start, he had seven points (1 goal, 6 assists) in the final three games. He had nine points (four goals, five assists) through the Philadelphia series. He's not been the dominator everyone knows he can be, but it's not as if he's invisible out there. A few more goals, and he'll be right back in the conversation. These two are always the difference between the Pens winning and losing.



Prediction: E. Staal will cause the Pens problems, and Ward can steal a game or two, but he's due for his first series loss. Pens in six.

Note: Apologies for the picture cutoffs. I'll resolve this for the next time. Pictures taken from the Puck Daddy blog on Yahoo! Sports and Empty Netters blog by Seth Rorabaugh at www.post-gazette.com

Pens move on

So, how about those Pittsburgh Penguins? In game seven, they demolished the Washington Capitals 6-2, ending the series and heading home to watch the finale of the Bruins-Hurricanes series, which will end tonight as well. What would absolutely make my day is if the Red Wings lose and Marian Hossa gets to ponder about whether or not he selected the right team in the off-season.

Since I am out of witty stuff right now, I will simply leave you with two clips to ponder over until we find out the Penguins's opponent tonight. First, the always awesome handshake line (begins at about 1:50 of this clip):



And, as a result of my lack of creativity today, I will give you this incredibly awesome clip (also a celebration of Star Trek's recent release!) Have a great day, ladies and gents.

Congratulations because you should?

Today at work, I had something happen which several hours later made me scratch my head. I was working today at my job, and my boss walked up to me and asked me to sign a card for a co-worker who is getting married. I signed it when I got it, and when I couldn't think of something that was funny but still safe for work, I just signed it and gave it back to my boss.

Soon after, I questioned that decision. Now, about seven hours post-signing, I regret signing that card and wish I had not. This employee, a woman, has worked at our office now for about five months. During this time, she spent about half of it sitting in the cubicle opposite from my desk. While she was there, we spoke maybe once. The rest of the time, we have not spoke at all. Her job respoinsibilities do not coincide with mine, but I still manage to talk to several other employees while I'm working there that have nothing to do with my job.

So, I thought, "why did I do that? Just to be nice and not break a taboo?" Answer: yes. Our society is very self-centered, and places a ton of emphasis on achievements. Marriage is one of them. Therefore, any time someone gets married, even if it is someone we don't know well, we must praise them and do extra things for them, even when it's not entirely necessary. Tomorrow, they are throwing a luncheon party for her. I will not be there, but if I was, I would likely not even take the food and just continue working. This is an office-stopping deal. It's not just for the department she's in, or even just the people she closely works with. It's for everyone, and I can tell you I'm not the only person who doesn't know her well.

Do not mistake this as a "I hate my job, therefore I hate everyone there" or "I'm not married, so I hate everyone else who is" rant. This has to do with acknowledging something for someone you don't know well. My birthday's coming up on Sunday. I hope that the people who actually wish me happy birthday do because they mean it and don't feel obligated. If they do it because they're obligated, then that just sucks, don't it?

So, there's my opinion. Now, I want to know what yours is. Am I just a big, fat jerk, or am I speaking for the people? Leave me a comment.

A rant about friends

This is the topic I promised that didn't involve anything about hockey. I will leave that subject for a few days since it's been every single substantive subject so far (as someone so kindly pointed out to me).

I'd like to discuss for a few minutes the rules of get-togethers with your friends. Now, I'd like to think I got quite a few friends inside of my current graduate program. Some of them are closer than others, of course, but I woul like to place that number at fifteen, plus or minus about five. I tend to be a fan of hanging out at least once on the weekends so I'm not spending most of the weekend by myself, so I try to set something up starting on Tuesday or Wednesday through facebook. This way, by week's end, we've got something set to go and hopefully it's given people time to check it out and give ideas (usually a lot of these messages state 'hey, what's up... who wants to go somewhere, and if so, where and when?') It also lets people see what others are thinking, which is always good.

These messages, with a few exceptions, receive little response. Even from people I'd consider decent-good friends. I find this frustrating and terrible etiquette. Granted, sometimes the lists include people I'm extending a hand out to and be nice, but I find those even more frustrating. You genuinely try to make an effort in some way to reach out to people, but they simply ignore you for one reason or another.

So, you're asking "well, why aren't you asking them in person if you are in class with them?" Wrong, I'm not in class with all of them. Some of them I don't see during the week. I can't interact that way. Using facebook messages is the fastest way to do it. Another question you may be thinking: "Well, okay, but why not just text them or something?" Answer: I do sometimes, but sometimes even those go unanswered. Even phone calls will create the same response.

I'm sorry, friends, but until you all at the very least respond, I'm going to hesitate on pulling this trigger. I thank those of you that do respond, and I apologize to those that get tied up somehow. I mean that. But if you don't want to pay me any mind, then I suppose I won't pay you any, either.

Five Reasons Why You Should Give Hockey a Chance

First, a note: this blog will not be all hockey-related stuff, but since it's the playoffs, and there's some great action going on right now, I figure it'd be great to get a little more publicity for one of my favorite sports. With that said, we may begin.

I've talked to my friends alot about hockey. There's a couple that are decent fans. I've even invited some over to my place to watch my beloved team, the Pittsburgh Penguins, play during the playoffs. I get a few response: none, "hockey sucks", or "hockey? really?" Well, here are some reasons to sit down and flip a game on. Consequently, there's one on tonight: Anaheim Ducks vs Detroit Red Wings, 7:30 ET on Versus. Commence the listing!

1. It's completely unpredictable. Yeah, you could say this about any sport, but there's greater chances something can happen. In hockey, one bad pass can lead to a turnover that's immediately turned into a goal at the other end. The goalie misplays a puck, loses his stick, and it bounces in front of the net for an easy goal (Pens vs Capitals, game 3). A simple penalty turns into a power play, and seconds later it's in the net, causing a huge momentum swing. These simple things (with the exception of #2) happen frequently in games, and the plays both goaltenders, forwards, and defensemen do can be absolutely fantastic to watch.

2. It's wickedly fast paced. The game is at its best when it's a vertical game. Pucks get cycled fast from behind the net back up to the top of the blue line, and shots and chances fly constantly. Even if the scores seem low like in soccer, the area is much smaller and it's much more dramatic. There's nothing like a gigantic rebound in front of the net and 4-5 people fighting to claim it.

3. Most passionate fan bases. Soccer comes a close second, here but look at this. People got ravenously upset about Montreal's absolutely dismal 100th season. Philadelphians bitched out Sidney Crosby in the Wachovia Center (including fighting Pens fans in the building). Crowds with their own nicknames such as the "C" of Red in Calgary. Arenas with their own awesome nicknames such as the Shark Tank (H.P. Pavilion). Carolina's rabid fan base. In each of these locations, hockey's thriving and it's not relenting. In some places, hockey has been a hard sell, such as Columbus, Atlanta, and Phoenix (the Phoenix Coyotes may move to Canada), but the places where it's found a unique home. However, even with such a small fan base, find me a set of Cleveland Browns fans who care more about their team than Montreal Canadiens fans.

4. Best athletes as people. Yeah, you got your Sean Averys and your Todd Bertuzzis and your Marty McSorleys, but most of them are amazing people off the ice. They give huge amounts to charity and donate their time to help people in need, even the enforcers known for fighting. Most teams try really hard to give back to their communities and the players give it all in this department, which is great to see.

5. Stars. Good ones, too. You've got Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin. Two big stars, playing against each other, and two incredible huge playoff performances for them both. They are showing why they deserve as much attention as Kobe or Lebron in the NBA or Tom Brady or Peyton Manning in the NFL.

So, there's your five things. Now, go watch tonight's game. Or tomorrow's Pens game at 7:00. I will be watching that. Like going to the net, if you watch hockey, good things will happen.

You've got a blog, so speak your mind... sort of!

So, third post on this sucker in twelve hours. Do not expect this much content regularly. I'm just in the whole "woo, I gots a blog!" mentality. It will fade soon enough, like that snapshot of who you woke up looking at on Sunday morning having no idea how you got there.



One of the subjects I promised some insight on was politics. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. The main reason is twofold. First, I can't post anything regarding city politics that is not an official opinion of mine (I hope to post a few official political opinions here) because of the potential backlash if I say something critical. Second, my line of work in public service may hinge on how non-partisan I am, and if I make postings of a partisan nature and a potential employer starts raking through it, well... you get the idea.


Therefore, the best solution here is to avoid the trap. It is sad I have to do this. If there was an option to just exclude employers from reading this, I'd go all-out and write some stuff that'd surely piss some people off. I'm so saddened that I can't write on some subjects I'd love to, like the bailouts, the economy, international stuff, and my musings about the state government, and even perhaps my Area Commission. It is a shame that in this day and age, where everything is public, political correctness rules and the gotcha game is in full effect, I can't talk about everything. You never know who may read a topic of yours and turn it around, nailing you to the wall with it. I have never been nailed by something I wrote online in the past to haunt me in the present, but you never know. In this case, it's probably better to play it safe than sorry. Maybe someday I will get paid for my opinions on these subjects, but that day is not today.

Well, that is all for now. Tonight, expect a piece either on the Penguins game or another topic I've come up with. Until then, this is John Henry Eden signing off.

Alex Ovechkin should be suspended

In game four of the Stanley Cup Semifinals between Washington and Pittsburgh with about five minutes left in the first period, Washington's Alex Ovechkin hits Sergei Gonchar, resulting in a two-minute minor penalty and Gonchar leaves the ice shaken and doesn't return. Here is a video of the hit:



Now, why is this a suspension-worthy hit. First, it's below the thigh region. It's not a hip-check. He's not going for one like he did on Brooks Orpik in game three. Second, he makes no attempt to slow down and diminish this hit. He hits Gonchar so hard that he spins him on one leg 360 degrees. Third and finally, Ovechkin has a history of performing charges on players. He rarely gets them called because he is Alex Ovechkin, but a statement needs sent that the NHL shouldn't tolerate this stuff from anyone.

He won't get a suspension, no matter how upset this hit makes me. This is the NHL's greatest fantasy come true on the ice rink. This series is single-handedly driving more interest in the NHL. He may get fined like Chris Kunitz, but no suspension is coming. It's disheartening because if this was any other player such as Steve Ott of the Dallas Stars or Donald Brashear of the Washington Capitals, this probably results in a five minute major and maybe a game misconduct. Players should not be allowed to take charges at anyone, no matter who you are or how glorious the hit appears on a highlight reel.

Welcome

Welcome to my brand new blog called "Seismic Failure." Why the name, you ask? Because I created it at 12:30 AM and it seemed like a good title. The title is in no way a reflection on my outlook of life or anything, it just seemed all cool and stuff. May change if I create a better one. Time to stop talking about this, and on to the stuff you REALLY care about: what I'm going to talk about.

This blog will be dedicated to lots of random stuff. In reading, you will get a potpourri of different topics. I am hoping to discuss my favorite sports teams (This is the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Pittsburgh Penguins, and Ohio State Football), some politics, some things that really grind my gears, my writings perhaps, some commentaries, and musings on life. In other words, a gigantic mound of crap. With that, I hope you enjoy reading. First content post next!